For some, Valentines Day is a wonderful holiday full of love
and romance. For others, it’s a stressful occasion that’s full of spending
money on pointless cards and flowers. Whichever way you look at it, every
person has a story to tell during this day.
Today I’m mainly going to focus on the male point of view of
Valentines Day. I asked 10 guys about their thoughts and experiences. Don’t
worry guys; I’m not going to mention your names. I’m not trying to get anyone
in trouble, especially today.
As I conducted my interviews, I noticed that some of the
younger males didn’t care for the holiday. The ones that did, were experiencing
their first Valentines with a significant other. You could see the excitement
on their faces.
If you’re a newbie, Valentines can be really exciting. I
remember for my first Valentines, I wrote a poem and glued it into a homemade
card with our first picture we took together. Then I made a homemade bag and
filled it with her favorite chocolates. I even sought help from some girls to
get the designs right. It was all worth it when I saw her face.
Not everybody sees this experience. Some see Valentines as a
stressful time where they feel obligated to buy something. This isn’t an
uncommon feeling. A lot of women see this day as a day where they are entitled
to gifts and fancy dinners. This creates a standard by which some guys feel
they must meet. This standard causes stress and anxiety. Companies take
advantage of this by producing extra cards, flowers and other gifts. One woman
said, “I heard if a man buys you perfume, it’s because he forgot to get
something for Valentines.”
So why is this the case? Well, if you ask most guys, they
will tell you that this is strictly a woman’s holiday. To be fair, women make
it a big deal and since it’s a big deal to them, it’s a big deal to guys. This
causes some guys to go out of their way to do things they don’t want to do. Some
women say they don’t want anything for the holiday, but react a certain way
when they don’t get something. Men aren’t dumb. We can tell if you really care
about the holiday or not. It gets so bad sometimes that people actually get
into arguments with their significant other with small things like where should
they go to eat.
All is not lost for those who find themselves in this
situation. Like a lot of things, it starts with communication. Having honest
conversations about how each other feels about the holiday will help decrease
the level of stress for guys. If you’re a type of guy that hated the holiday and
you’re with someone who loves it, it’s important to know that. The girl could
then be more understanding and know even the simplest of gifts from him would
be special.
If a guy is going to buy something for a girl, it helps if
the girl gives a gift in return.
In a world where genders are becoming more equal, some
things don’t add up. We’re all supposed to be equal now, yet women want men to treat
them special. I’m all for that, but let’s be consistent. Guys would like to get
stuff too. I’m not talking about flowers and teddy bears, but something so that
it levels the playing field. In general, people are more willing and excited to
buy gifts if they know they’re getting something in return.
I’m lucky enough to be with an understanding person. I
shared with her my feeling towards this holiday and we reached agreements. I’m
receiving one the best Valentines gift this year: a Seahawk Superbowl shirt!! It
is awesome. Also, we decided to do more quality activities like walks, movie
nights, and even camping. These experiences have proven to be more fun than
fancy expensive dinners.
Another thing that would help guys out is if women took away
the pressure of the holiday. When you take away the pressure, Valentines can be
really fun. You tend to do things because you want to, not because you’re
obligated to. Yes there is a standard, but we can personalize this standard. Valentines
can be a day where you just spend time with people you care about. This is
something that both non-single and single people can enjoy. If this is truly a
holiday of love, then it should be about love.
Just a thought - Devonte Hill
